Road to recovery from Bacterial Meningitis
I shuffled around my home everything looked the same but slightly different. It felt surreal, the space was the same, but my viewpoint and understanding had shifted. It was me that was different, almost like looking at a well-known painting upside down, I knew what it was, it was familiar, but I could see new shapes. A perspective that I had not realised before.
Posted to Facebook and Instagram on the 19th February 2022
“Back at home and I have been administering my own intravenous antibiotics for the last couple of weeks. A visit to the hospital and CT scan revealed that the mass on my brain is now 6mm which is down from 1.3cm. I am covid free and the infection level in my system is down to single digits. The doctor is pleased with my progress. I’ve had my midline removed and feel far more human again.
Physically, my strength is returning. Although I still get headaches, they are manageable and I’m starting to work on my mind, focus and memory. Keeping positive and striving for a full recovery!
A big thank you to Ruth for looking after me every day. Thank you to everyone who has sent me love and healing over the last 6 weeks, it’s definitely made a difference. I am forever in your debt”
The healing process, what had happened to me?
Six weeks since I was admitted to hospital with no immune system, bacterial meningitis and a 1.3cm abscess on the right side of my brain. My body had been physically destroyed. Since then, it worked incredibly hard. Identified the inflection and abscess and unleashed its defence mechanisms targeting the foreign bodies reinforced by antibiotics, steroids and painkillers. It also started to rebuild my immune system.
“To the NHS I offer my eternal thanks for their brilliant service and keeping me alive. If it wasn’t for the paramedics and doctor’s diagnosis and the nurses care and treatment, I am pretty sure I would no longer be here.”
Another important role I believe was played by my friends and loved ones. Their thoughts, energy and love. Many friends and colleagues are spiritual practitioners working with healing, energy, and mediumship. They had been sending love and healing on a regular basis. I had time to think about how this had helped, the energy of positive thought and the spirit world, working alongside my medical treatment. I truly believe it helped to put me at ease, reduce the pain and made a difference.
When I look at what could have happened, my chances of survival and the sequence of events, I surely believe that I am blessed. I am incredibly lucky to still be here and to be recovering.
I believe there are a few considerations to my recovery
- Always listen to the doctors and follow their advice and course of treatment.
- To receive openly the love, support, compassion, and healing from others.
- Letting go of all stress and any bad will towards others.
- Understanding what’s happening with your energy, wellbeing, and emotional state.
Continuing to heal after hospital
The doctor was pleased, I was making good progress. The antibiotics had done their job, physically I was getting stronger. I could walk around the block without getting out of breath.
Mentally, I was not myself. I didn’t feel as quick as before or on the ball. Still healing but my mind felt different, my body was different too. It all felt a little unreal. I had symptoms that the doctor said would disappear over time and I was expected to make a full recovery.
- I still got headaches and sharp pains in and around my head.
- My focus was not the same as before, my mind would wander off thinking about nothing.
- My memory was not great, things would leave my mind right after a conversation.
- I searched for words and struggled to find a decent vocabulary.
- My balance was not quote right, especially with change of light or elevation.
- I was creativity drained. I had very little enthusiasm for anything.
I just didn’t feel myself anymore, of course it was completely understandable as I had been seriously ill. The doctors had fixed me so I would live, they had done their job. My family, friends and colleagues showed me how much they cared, for which I felt incredibly humble. Now it was my turn to heal myself the rest of the way, it was my responsibility.
Firstly, I knew from experience that I wasn’t aiming to become the person I used to be. That person had gone. I had an opportunity to become a new and (hopefully) improved version. This whole experience had many valuable lessons to teach me but right now I had no idea what any of them were.
I truly believed that understanding personal and other people’s energy, knowledge of chakras and the importance of meditation comes to the forefront. These were areas I had studied, and I knew I needed to use for the next stage of my recovery.
Reflection & Insight
I was never the best meditator, I always had too much to do, or my mind wanted to create something new. Though art and short daily practices I found my quiet space. I had not created any art in nearly two months, I found it scary to sit in front of my easel again. A blank canvas scared me, which never had before.
I had just finished reading a book by Caroline Myss, it inspired and seem to come at the right time. I recorded my own guided daily meditation, only fourteen minutes but would start to move my mind into the right space each morning.
I was unable to work and had to turn down jobs, I couldn’t worry about it now. For the first time in a long time, I had a clear schedule, my only focus was on healing. Maybe this focus of healing and self-care should have happened a while ago.
With time to think, even if I’m not always thinking clearly. I still had time to consider some important questions.
- Why has this happened to me?
- What can I learn from this?
Why has this happened? Possibly to remove the “should haves” A coincidence of events that points to serendipity, something significant to stand up and take note. Is there are grand plan? This is not at all relevant and some questions are for another time, but the “should haves” that I have been dealing with for a while. After passing 40 years old, my body doesn’t repair at the same rate or react as quickly. If I want it to do another 40 years, I need to make time to look after it, look after me like someone I love and respect.
I have certainly had time to look back at what I have been doing, how I spent my time. I have the opportunity to remove the things that no longer matter and reducing the amount of “should haves”.
Written by Richard Stuttle
